I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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