so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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