Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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