I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
