it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
