The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Is it because I queefed?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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