i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
