Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
