GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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