At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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