he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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