My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Duck Duck Cougar?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
