Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Text me some of your sweat
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
