apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
