my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
