We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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