Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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