I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
