It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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