We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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