just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
