i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
