I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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