I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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