I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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