The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Holy sore nipples Batman
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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