roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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