I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
