yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
