So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize