just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
