I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
