You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
