my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
