this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
