I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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