Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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