this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
