How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
