..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
should my penis look like a turkey
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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