Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
