did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
