Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
