just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
