he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
