i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
