I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
