You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
