she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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