so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
