i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
