What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
