Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
